I was brought up in a non-religious household but both my mother and father had a vicar officiating at their funeral. I knew of no other way. When my 4½ month old son, Merrick, died, he too had a religious funeral. I felt that that can't be right - the final hypocracy. I was detemined to do something about it, so I joined the British Humanist Association. Some of their members conducted funerals but on a very ad hoc basis. When we formed Cornwall Humanists one of our priorities was to provide non-religious funerals for those who wanted them. We invited Henrietta Quinell, from Exeter and Mary Smith, from Truro, to come and show us how, and we visited Penmount Crematorium to have a look behind the scenes. At that stage I didn't see a role for me as an officiant but I just sort of got drawn in. Since then, the BHA have put things on a much more 'profesional' basis and officiants, to be accredited by them, have to undergo a vetting procedure, training, and, once accepted, regular assessment.
It's a short (sideways) step to wedding and baby naming ceremonies. Much more
joyous occassions - and much longer in the planning. I have conducted a combined
wedding and baby naming ceremony on the banks of the Yelm. Wedding ceremonies on
Constantine Beach, in North Cornwall, in a court yard of a farm, a front garden,
a back garden, Tintagel Youth Hostel, the China Fleet Club, Hengar Manor and
Budock Vean Hotel. Each and every one is different.
That is the advantage of a Humanist ceremony - with the officiants help, you choose the words, you choose the music. (often live) Friends and relations can participate with readings, poems or music. At a wedding you choose the commitment you make to one another, you can swap rings, 'broken tokens', or light candles, as you can at baby namings. You can plant a tree - or two, or a shrub. You get a certificate that can be signed by you, the witnesses or the guardians/mentors, or what ever you like to call the equivalent of God parents. Weddings, namings or funerals you get a copy of the script.
To date I have conducted over 100 funerals, 16 weddings and 5 baby namings.
Cornwall Joint Crematorium Committee (Penmount Crematorium) hold an Annual Service of Remembrance. We felt that we could represent the many non-religious who are cremated there. After approaching the authorities, in the year 2000, we were invited to make a contribution and I was chosen to read a poem at the Cathedral. This year I read a peice at Truro Methodist Church.
For further information e-mail one of Cornwall Humanist's Officiants;